Friday, September 14, 2012

User Agreement

By reading this sentence you are hereby agreeing to refrain from judging me for starting a blog. You agree to accept the fact that "blog" is kind of a stupid word, and you agree to change your opinion of the sort of people who have blogs (i.e. me). You agree that "ampersand" is a fun word (and a great name for a black kitten), and that placing "anonymous"before it makes it even more fun to say. You agree that any pictures, ideas or posts found here were my idea first, and my idea only*, and that they are all wildly funny, heartbreakingly beautiful or intensely poignant depending on the context. You agree that it is just too bad that Blogger doesn't allow you to make those tiny numbers next to words that indicate footnotes, and that by lacking this important tool they have robbed me of a creative outlet. You also agree not to say anything if Blogger indeed does have said option. Most of all, you agree to read this blog religiously, tell your friends about it, and inform potential investors of what a profitable enterprise it would be to give me $50,000. Because we all know that this blog is going to be a big hit, and that I'm not going to make a fool of myself.

...right?


*For a funnier "user's agreement", please see Amy Krause Rosenthal's Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life which I have almost completely plagiarized.